Twelve steps to writing an awful kids’ book.

Mea culpa.  I have been there and I have done that.  I have written awful children’s books; not just book but books, plural.  And no amount of “Hail Mary”s can fix the bad writing I’ve done (plus, I’m not Catholic).

Phew.  Feels good to get it off my chest.  These days, I sometimes turn up an old file on my hard drive and open it up, only to discover an ugly early attempt at a kids’ story.  I’m nowhere near perfect yet, but it has become easier, at least, to spot where all those early attempts went wrong.

If I ever wanted to write an awful kids’ book again, let’s just say I now know all the steps to get me there.  And having been there and done that, I’m happy to share this twelve-step plan to help you, too, create a children’s book that truly stinks. 

What?  You want to write a great kids’ book?

Don’t worry… for each of these twelve steps, I’ve offered a few tips (many from painful personal experience) on how to do it right.  You know… just in case you want to write this book:

Instead of this one:

You decide which you want to write… and then follow these twelve simple tips.

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Three mistakes when you’re writing history for kids… and how to turn them around.

(a guest post by Amanda)

Yawn. Is that your reaction when you think about history books?

Now think about the challenge of writing it. How can you make important facts into an interesting read?

This may be easier to do in the much adored genre of historical fiction where a writer is free to fill in some gaps and develop lovable characters, but don’t worry – even in non-fiction, you can still create great stories.

While you’ll still need to be creative in writing non-fiction history books for kids that make them want to read and learn, here are some things you should avoid.

1. Anachronisms

You wouldn’t have a Biblical character glance at his wristwatch… but what about Ben Franklin?

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15 Kindle books under $10 that will help you write a great children’s book… and 3 to skip at any price.

I read a lot of ebooks these days, because we’re about a bazillion miles from the nearest English-language bookstore.  And like always, I love reading… about writing.  But I don’t love spending a ton on writing books.  It makes writing feel like a self-indulgent hobby, an extravagance.  So I’m always on the lookout for cheap, high-quality writing books.
Happily, there are many good books out there for not much money.  But how can you sift through them all and decide which ones are worth even the little that they cost?  Here, I’ve sifted through the cheapest and best I could find to offer you fifteen good ones and three stinkers.

What do I look for in a writing book?

First, here’s what I don’t look for - a few pet peeves I try to avoid, including:

• Generic cover with a typewriter or something writerly that screams, “I’m going to spend all my time turning out a series of a dozen books on writing books… instead of writing books myself.”  Shudder.
• Puns that promise you “the write stuff” or any other pun-ishing approach to writing it “write.”  Groan.
• Books that start by telling you that “some people” think kids’ books are super-easy to write.  We know, we know.  Don’t lead with this – it’s not news.  Blah.
• Out-of-date books that are re-released for Kindle with no new content.  Ugh.

 

Different genres of writing books

Before you buy any book, make sure you know what you’re buying.  The book’s description should tell you clearly what type of book it is:

• Is it a “basics” book that will give prompts and help you actually write the story?
• Is it an “industry overview” book that explains the business of publishing?
• Is it a “nuts and bolts” book that tells you how to get your book ready for a specific format, like Kindle?
• Is it a “promotion” book that shows you how to market a book you’ve already written?

None of these is the WRONG answer, by the way.  You need different books at different points in your life and even different days of the week.  If you’re not sure from the description of the book, be very wary.  Read reviews to try to find out.  Click to see the preview.  If you’re still not clear on what you’re going to get out of the book… give up and try the next one on the list.

The books

So without further ado (dontcha hate when they say “without further adieu…”?), I now present… the books.  I know I promised cheap Kindle books in the headline.  But I’m going to do you an even bigger favour and divide these books up into three price ranges:  super-cheap (under $2), way cheap (under $7) and still pretty cheap (under $10).  Beyond that, the books here appear in no particular order.

Super-cheap (under $2)

#1… $1.99 How To Write a Children's Picture Book by Darcy Pattison (Nov 28, 2013).  A terrific value even at a few bucks more, you cannot go wrong with this detailed book, that gets into the real nitty gritty of the writing and publishing business.  I OWN THIS BOOK.

#2… $0.01 The Business of Writing for Children: An Award-Winning Author's Tips on  Writing Children's Books and Publishing by Aaron Shepard (Mar 25, 2014).  As of this writing, it costs only one cent, way less than what I paid (I think $0.99 or $1.00?).  Buy it!!!  I OWN THIS BOOK.

#3… $0.91 Formatting of Children's Books and Comics for the Kindle, by Charles Spender (November 13, 2012).  The Amazon page for this book now directs you to this site (5th book down in the list) to download a free (& totally legit) copy.  What a nice surprise!  With 35 mostly-positive reviews, and a price tag like this, what are you waiting for?  I OWN THIS BOOK (now).

Way cheap (under $7)

#4… $2.83 The Easy Way to Write Picture Books That Sell by Robyn Opie Parnell (Oct 20, 2013).  Not my favourite, because I didn’t really click with her writing style and the book was a little basic for me.  She’s very enthusiastic, though – if slightly redundant in her advice.  This one is high on confidence but low on technical details.  A great suggestion if you’re just starting out.  I OWN THIS BOOK.

#5… $4.99 The Children's Writer's Guide by Simon Rose (Sep 22, 2013).  This one also falls into the category of good books for beginners, dealing with issues like naming your characters, turning ideas into stories, making time to write, dealing with rejection (important!) and more.  For under $5, it’s like a writing course in easy portable ebook form.

#6… $4.59 A Self-Publisher's Companion: Expert Advice for Authors Who Want to Publish by Joel Friedlander (Mar 24, 2011).  The only non-kids’-book specific book you’ll find on this list (and similarly, the only non-kids’-book-related blog on my blogroll, for the same reason).  If you ever hope to self-publish, Friedlander won’t steer you wrong.  You’ll get an overview of the publishing industry and what has changed with the advent of ebooks, as well as crucial lists of what self-publishers do wrong and how to fix them.  True, a lot of the pieces are available free on his blog, but come on - $5?  And most have been expertly revised to suit the book form and flow from chapter to chapter.  I OWN THIS BOOK.

#7… $2.87 Picture Books: The Write Way by Laura Salas and Lisa Bullard (November 13, 2013).  Recommended despite the “write” pun in the title.  This book deals with ten BIG problems that writers encounter when their stories meet up with editors for the first time.  It assumes you have a story that is already written and goes through this list of ten biggies step by step.  I love a book this focused and on-task, and as a result, this book is now ON MY WISH LIST.

#8… $6.28 Writing Magic: Creating Stories That Fly by Gail Carson Levine (August 27, 2013).  You don’t get much more cred than Levine, creator of such books as Ella Enchanted.  Mainly geared towards teaching middle-schoolers how to write, this book has clearly struck a chord with adult writers as well, judging from its positive reviews.  If you consider yourself an expert or advanced writer, this may not be the book for you given its young adult focus.

#9… $3.67 The Busy Writer's Tips on Writing for Children by Marg McAlister (November 22, 2012).  Another one I’d never heard of.  Amazon says the writer, Marg McAlister, has written more than 60 books for children – which may be, but not a single one is listed on Amazon; all they have is her books on writing for writers.  But she’s in Australia, which may explain this, and her own website, writing course, etc., look legit.

Still pretty cheap (under $10)

#10… $7.62 How to Write a Children's Picture Book and Get it Published by Andrea Shavick (July 29, 2011).  I admit, I hadn’t heard of Shavick or her book, but it looks well written enough, and her personal website is professionally done, which tells me that some effort has probably gone into the book as well.  If that sounds like it’s setting the bar pretty low, you should see some of the so-called writing books out there.

#11… $9.38 Writing Irresistible Kidlit: The Ultimate Guide to Crafting Fiction for Young Adult and Middle Grade Readers by Mary Kole (Nov 6, 2012).  I love it when bloggers write books!  You can check out their writing and the quality of their advice for free ahead of time.  Mary Kole is a pro in both areas, and this book is ON MY WISHLIST.

#12… $9.17 You Can Write Children's Books by Tracey E. Dils (Sep 10, 2009).  Another one that was new to me, but what an encouraging title.  Lots of great reviews, too, showing that this is a beginner’s guide that may be worth the (under $10) investment just to have on the (virtual) bookshelf.  While I haven’t read this book specifically, the Kindle edition is an update of an earlier book published by Writer’s Digest, so I expect that it is well-produced, slick and upbeat, like most of their other books… a format that was very, very encouraging to me when I was just starting out.

#13… $9.18 The Everything Guide To Writing Children's Books by Lesley Bolton (Dec 1, 2002).  Looks like a solid overview from this company, that publishes “For Dummies” style intro books, and offers a glimpse of the process of creating kids’ books.  Most of the focus is on traditional publishing, with only a brief, discouraging (and perhaps slightly outdated) nod towards self-publishing.

#14… $9.17 The Nuts and Bolts Guide to Writing Picture Books by Linda Ashman (September 25, 2013).  With a ton of published kids’ books under her belt, Linda Ashman feels like a writer you can trust.  Plus, blogger Julie Hedlund says it’s full of “juicy goodness”… how can we resist?

#15… Okay, at $10.15, How to Promote Your Children's Book: Tips, Tricks, and Secrets to Create a Bestseller, by Katie Davis (March 22, 2014), is slightly over the promised price point (but then I gave you one free, so go easy on me).  This is one I haven’t read, but it’s on my wish list now for sure.  With 151 positive reviews (in just over a month?!), this book about a much-overlooked area is what I’d call an Important Read.  How about this positive review from Laura Purdie Salas, co-author of Picture Books: The Write Way (see above):  “I blog, Facebook, and do a lot of promotional stuff, including an online book launch, online teacher extension materials, etc. But Katie's book still offered me tons more ideas for things I want to check out”?  Come on… it’s only $0.15 over!  ON MY WISH LIST.

…And 3 to skip unless they’re free

(and even then, probably skip them)

Why avoid these books?  Even a cheap book isn’t free if you think about the time you have to put in reading it.  Why throw your money away on a book that offers you cheap information that you can find either on the writer’s blog or, worse, on someone else’s – because they’ve just ripped it off and/or spun it to create their book.

#1… $4.71 Publish Children's Books - How to Self Publish and Market Your Kids Books by Caterina Christakos (Sep 1, 2013).  See that image of money bags on the cover???  Yeah, that’s you, raking in the dough over your little rhyming nursery story – NOT.  What a weird cover.  At only 18 pages, this is way too short to call a book.  A pamphlet, maybe?  Just from the preview, I can tell that the writer has no clue how to use a comma, and she uses every opportunity to hype her own book, How to Write a Children’s Book in 30 Days or Less! – which, by the way, has many bad reviews and is apparently full of typos.  Her only children’s book visible on Amazon begins with the sentence, “In every baby’s life, their comes the time when they get to meet their very own guardian Angel.”  Groan…

#2…$1.00 Writing Guide: RIGHT FOR KIDS: 333 One Sentence Tips and Tricks on the Art and Business of Writing Picture Books for Children by Tom Skinner (June 29, 2012).  This book is chock full of three hundred and thirty-three one-liners like, “The industry is very competitive and full of talented professionals,” “You can do it!  (With a few tips + bit of study + practice),” and “A picture book is simple.  And simply irresistible.”  Guess whose book I’m resisting very easily right now?  Pretty easy to avoid given that he has a chapter called “COZ HE WOZ.”

#3… $2.88 Writing Books for Children and Youth (Boot Camp for Christian Writers) by Carolyn Tomlin (Dec 19, 2013).  It’s not the religious aspect of this book that turned me off.  It’s the near-illiteracy of its sweeping generalizations (“There are some writers who look at trends – including what topics are being discussed in the media?” “Writers for children’s books would be wise to know the breakdown of the publisher you wish to submit your work”), and the lack of writing cred of the author.  Despite this lack, she offers copious examples – including a full-text excerpt – from her own single children’s book (“Matthew smiled when he thought about all of his different friends.  They all looked different from him.  Some had dark skin, others light.” Can you tell yet that the book is about multiculturalism??  In case you missed it, how about, “On the next block lived Matthew’s African American friend, Lakesia.”?).  And in case you’re looking for a Christian perspective, I couldn’t find any in this book except in the aforementioned excerpt.

*All prices are as of this writing.  Amazon pricing can fluctuate randomly from day to day and even from minute to minute.

Did I forget to include your favourite book?  Let me know in the comments!

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‘Tis the season – write holiday books that don’t spell HUMBUG (Part 2 of 2)

What the heck is a holiday-books post doing here in April? And not just any post – this is Part 2 of a 2-part series! (Click here to read Part 1 first.)

Well, for one thing, not all of us celebrate our main holiday in December. Plus, if you’re thinking of writing or wrapping a book aimed at the December holiday season, April is actually a great time to be planning it.

In Part 1, we looked at four big Do’s and Don’ts to help get you on the right track.  Now, we’re going to look at one final question you need to ask yourself before you sit down to write – who are you writing for???

Finding your audience

Is your book aimed at kids and families who celebrate the holiday, or those who don’t?

As a religious Jew, I can’t tell you how many Chanukah books I decided were ultimately inappropriate for my family because they explain too much.

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Three ways to add real science to a picture book without putting kids to sleep

Guest post by an anonymous mom who just happens to be a neuroscientist.

Kids have a short attention span, and when it comes to factual stuff like science, it can sometimes be a challenge to truly engage their busy brains without inducing boredom. In order to keep a child’s attention, authors of children’s books must incorporate interesting and colorful content, and it always helps if humor is involved. Presenting the facts does not limit a writer’s creativity, nor should it ever prevent them from being silly – oftentimes a key characteristic for attracting and fascinating children.

Here’s How #1:  Color

Applying color does not necessarily need to be interpreted literally,

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Do talking animals make our kids dumb?

In case you don’t feel like reading on, the answer is no.

But the question has been raking up headlines all week anyway, thanks to a University of Toronto (my alma mater !  so proud !) study proving that they do. 

Or at least, kind of proving they do. 

As it turns out, what they’ve done says very little about children’s books – in particular, not much we have to pay attention to as writers or as parents.

But along the way we can have a bit of a laugh looking at the samples of the stories they used, and looking at examples of talking animals who help our kids learn… so keep right on reading!

The Claim:  Talking Animals Hinder Learning

These results indicate that anthropomorphized animals in books may not only lead to less learning but also influence children’s conceptual knowledge of animals. (read the full study here)

This kind of sensationalistic stuff adapts really well to headlines!

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Seven picture books that heal the diversity gap.

Lee & Low Publishers reports that the “diversity gap” in kids’ books hasn’t changed in the last 18 years – even though 37% of the U.S. population now comprises people of colour (a term I don’t like because it includes purple and cyan, but there you go). 

Pale-skinned people like me are slated to become a minority by 2060, yet up to 91% of kids’ books today are about people roughly the same shade as me & my family. 

This isn’t good for anyone – especially whitish folks like my kids, who look up from their reading to see a nation far more diverse than anything they see in books.

(True, we live in Israel, not the U.S., but yeah, it’s far more ethnically diverse than anything you might picture!)

The solution isn’t stocking up on books about black kids, written by black writers.  Change will only come when our shelves are stocked with TRUE diversity, books that reflect the true cultural context of our lives.  Books by every-colour authors, about every-colour kids. 

Not all-black or all-white, but a rainbow

Here are five “every-colour” books you can keep on your bookshelf and read to your kids to help them understand what a big, wide, wonderful world this is!

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Early children’s books.

Raise your hand prissily if you don’t get a tremendous tee hee reading through this with all the F’s that aren’t really F’s.  “To fee if the corn is almoft ripe.”  Tee hee.

(I come by it honestly:  my mother’s name is Susan, but my father, tickled by old-fashoned handwriting, used to call her, affectionately, “Foovan”, because of the S’s.)

Since early children’s book writers clearly hadn’t heard of Mistake #1:  Tossing in Values, those first books had purely moral intentions – sometimes pretty scary ones involving hellfire (heckfire, if the former offends you). 

Later, it was discovered that they were also a great way to teach children to read.  But ideally, as with the American McGuffey Readers in the 1800s (a series I adore, by the way, and still use with my own kids), books would do double-duty, sharing a moral lesson AND teaching children to read!

When books were rare and precious.

This was before the days of Print On Demand:  books were rare and precious, and most families – heck heck, most schools – only had a few. 

So you crammed as much as possible onto each page.  They had math texts back then that could fit into your hand and cover the entire mathematics curriculum from Grades 1 to 12.  Maybe not in as much detail as a slow math student like me would prefer, but there it was.

These were all-purpose texts, too.  Even the McGuffey readers included “Slate Work” in the form of script-handwriting lessons interspersed with the with the stories and poems.  Of course, these, too, were designed for double duty, dishing out moral lessons about faith and hard work right along with the handwriting practice.

Kids today are daunted by script – I read somewhere about a girl who had to learn script so she could send letters back and forth with her grandmother.

What else is different today?

Forget about fonts.

Today’s kids’ books make liberal use of fonts – well, except for good old script handwriting, which seems to have been completely eliminated from our kids’ repertoire.

Indeed, books like the popular (accidentally typed “poopular,” maybe it means something?) Geronimo Stilton series (this page is from Lost Treasure of the Emerald Eye, one my kids adore), at times seem to rely more on font and novelty than on actual plot – let alone moral virtue.

(Not a fan of this series, but not for any reason I can put my finger on, and I’d never forbid the kids from reading them based on my own intuitions.)

Anyway, who can blame them when there is such marvellous precedent from the previous generation of kids’ books, the books of the 1970s and 1980s that were the first to break with morality, convention, with everything?

Instead of these tried-and-true formulas, this generation created fun, eclectic Free-to-be-type books that (sometimes literally, like in Grover’s 1971 classic, The Monster at the End of This Book, smashed all precedent to create the totally new artform in which Geronimo Stilton is free to play today to his heart’s content.

 

(Okay, it’s late, I’m tired.  Hands up; bonus hug for anyone who followed that last sentence!!!)

Forget about trees.

Today, you get taken to task if you don’t make careful use of whitespace – or, what those early children’s book pioneers would call “intentionally waste space in your book.”

And rather than one picture per story (regardless of how many pages each story ran), you'd darn well better include a picture on each page if you expect hold kids’ attention.

Better yet, make like successful Diary of a Wimpy Kid author Jeff Kenney and many of today’s graphic novelists and forgo the words part altogether.  (Okay, comics and Diary of a Wimpy Kid HAVE words… but they are generally incorporated among other graphic elements, rather than carrying the story alone.)

Forget about stopping progress.

Not that I want to!  I love today’s kids’ books.  I’m not panicking about their future, by any means, and I’m always excited to see what the future will bring.

But sometimes, when I see the woeful choices my children make and chuckle over (this is code for the entire body of literature that relies primarily on fart jokes for its readers’ edification), I yearn for a simpler time.  Don’t we all?

I yearn for Goodnight Moon. (An Israeli woman once told me she found this canonical book creepy!  Really, it’s creepy to have an old lady in your room watching you fall asleep?  I always thought this was kind of sweet, but maybe she has a point.)

I yearn for The Velveteen Rabbit.  (Does anyone still read this?  I thought about it once but realized it was too long to hold my attention span, let alone my kids’.  There – painful true confession.  Maybe I should try again now that they’re older.)

I yearn for A Tree Grows in Brooklyn – a wonderfully shocking YA book easily as scandalous as anything today’s teens encounter.

Or is it perhaps not a simpler time I yearn for but a “fimpler” one, a world full of fimple ftories that won’t confound or confufe uf.  “Come, it is Auguft.  Buy a fharp fickle; you muft cut down the corn and eat fome.”

Ah, but you can’t stop progress.  Or, as Grover might put it,

What modern changes do you love in the world of kids’ books?  What can’t you stand?  If you could go back to visit any period of children’s literature, when would you pick?

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